BONUS – Return to Sender: On Growth, Projection, and the Journey of Unfoldment
Choosing clarity over condescension on the sometimes solitary path of becoming
The Exchange
Not long ago, after sharing an experience of navigating an intensely growth-filled period, I was met with a remark delivered in a tone laced with condescension: “How is that working out for you?”
The words were short, but their weight landed heavy. They carried not the curiosity of a friend, nor the encouragement of a fellow traveler, but the sharp edge of doubt. It was less a question and more an insinuation—as though my path were suspect, my progress a mirage, my aspiration destined to collapse.
For a moment, admittedly, I felt the sting. It would have been easy to absorb that comment into my heart, to let it fester as self-doubt. But almost as quickly as it landed, I recognized something essential: what had been handed to me was not mine to keep.
Recognizing What Is Not Ours
When people react this way to another’s consciously choosing growth, albeit challenging at times, it often reveals far more about them than about the person they are addressing. Sometimes it is envy, thinly veiled as mockery. Sometimes it is insecurity, disguised as wit. And sometimes it is simple discomfort with change—for nothing unsettles those invested in the status quo, or in a refusal to grow consciously, quite like the sight of someone daring to step beyond it.
In that moment, I saw that the words offered to me were, in truth, a kind of misplaced parcel—a bundle of doubt and resistance that had been dropped at my doorstep. But here is the wisdom that comes with unfoldment: I am not required to bring every package inside.
The Act of Returning
I chose, consciously, to mark that unwanted delivery with three words: Return to Sender.
This simple phrase has become, for me, a kind of spiritual boundary practice. It is the act of discerning between what belongs to me and what does not. Growth, after all, requires carrying enough of our own burdens. And along my journey, I have carried, and continue to carry, my allotment of said burdens. As a result, why would I shoulder the unexamined discomforts of others?
Marking something Return to Sender is not bitterness, nor is it retaliation. Quite the contrary—it is clarity. It is the refusal to internalize projections that were never mine to bear. In returning them, I reclaim the vital energy needed to continue my own unfolding along this perfecting path, while emotionally present and steady for those whom I am entrusted to protect and guide.
The Nature of Unfoldment
Unfoldment, by its very essence, is profoundly disruptive. To grow is to step beyond familiar contours, and that movement inevitably unsettles not only ourselves but also those around us—even those closest to us. Our expansion becomes a mirror, reflecting back what others have long resisted acknowledging, let alone consciously working to transform.
Sadly, it is often easier to attempt to diminish another’s growth than to confront one’s own stagnation. Easier to ask, with a smirk, “How is that working out for you?” than to face the more piercing questions: “How am I working with my own possibility? How might I step into more, and in so doing, become more?”
But the journey of unfoldment is not contingent on another’s comfort. It is measured by our willingness to walk forward anyway. I have long shared this truth: to stand still while others move ahead is, by that very act, to retreat. And for me, when forward movement is—far and away—the better choice, retreat is never an option.
Lessons from the Path
Over the years, I have found that true growth often provokes misunderstanding. In Freemasonry, in the teaching of Transcendental Meditation, in scholarship, in business, in fatherhood—I have encountered resistance, sometimes subtle, sometimes sharp. Yet I have also learned that resistance can serve as confirmation. If your growth unsettles someone else, it is a sign you are indeed moving—forward.
Albert Pike, the great yet flawed Masonic thinker, once reminded us: “What we do for ourselves alone dies with us; what we do for others and the world outlives us and is immortal.” His words carry a quiet warning: if we tether our actions too tightly to the opinions of others, we risk losing sight of the immortal work we are called to do.
Rumi said it differently, and perhaps more tenderly: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas. Languages. Even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense.”
Growth moves us toward that field—but only if we are willing to step beyond the voices that would trap us in judgment. And yes, that includes the voices within our own heads.
The Gift of Clarity
What I carried from that exchange was not pain, but clarity. Not every remark deserves entry into my inner space. Not every voice warrants residence in my soul.
To return projections is, paradoxically, an act of compassion. For it frees me from their weight, and it leaves the speaker with the mirror of their own words. It invites them—should they so choose—to ask why my growth unsettled them so. That is their work, not mine.
Meanwhile, my task is simple: to keep walking. To keep unfolding. To keep stepping into the field where soul meets soul, free from the burden of another’s doubt.
A Benediction
We live in an age where projection has become a currency. Social media thrives on it. Political discourse is riddled with it. Even personal exchanges are too often clouded by the need to diminish rather than uplift.
But the truth is this: you need not keep what is left at your doorstep if it is not meant for you. Bless it, release it, and return it.
Your path is yours alone to walk. And the beauty of your unfoldment is that it continues, whether or not others approve.
So when you encounter those moments—when someone tries to hand you their discomfort, their envy, their sense of inadequacy, their fear—remember this: the greatest act of sovereignty is to gently hand it back, whispering as you do, Return to Sender.
And then, carry on.
Closing
Growth is perpetual. It is not always comfortable, and it is rarely convenient. I know this all too well. Yet it is sacred. And though others may seek to place their discomfort at your feet, the unfolding of your life is yours alone—a gift to you, and, in time, to the world.
So walk with clarity. Walk with purpose. Walk with compassion. Walk with the strength to know what is yours and what is not. And may every misplaced burden you mark Return to Sender make your journey lighter, your vision clearer, and your soul freer to become what it is destined to be. Above all, may you continue the journey unencumbered by the misdirected burdens of others.
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Dr. Baruti KMT-Sisouvong is a consciousness scholar, executive coach, and Certified Teacher of Transcendental Meditation® based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. His work—spanning the Model for Perpetual Growth and Progress and the Seven Layers of Manifestation framework—explores how Pure Consciousness, neuroscience, and social systems transformation intersect in the evolution of both the individual and society. Alongside his wife, Mina, he co-directs the Cambridge and Metropolitan Boston TM Program, where they have taught thousands the art and science of meditation.
An author of several forthcoming works on the future of consciousness in an age shaped by technology, he writes and teaches from the conviction that the most important race is not between nations or machines, but between the conditioned mind and the awakening soul. They are the proud parents of four children. To learn more about him, visit: https://www.barutikmtsisouvong.com/.